But I’m worried about what other people will think (your biggest show stopper)
Okay so I've been wanting to write this post for quite some time now, but after hearing this come up numerous times, at random, and by all sorts of different people this week- I felt compelled to get this out there. Stat.
What I want to know is, just how many cool ideas and dreams are getting canned out there?
Every time I hear something is getting scrapped for the sake of not wanting to be judged by other people, it pulls at my heart strings. Why? Because what this line "I'm worried about what other people will think" is really saying is:
“I’m just gonna hand over the reins of my life to 'other people'. I dunno who they are exactly, but my gut is telling me, they don't want me to do this.”
“I’m willing to not do something that’s important to me, just so I can avoid the potential of being disliked or judged.”
Sure, we might reframe it or say it's because it's not the right time, it's too risky, I'm not experienced enough, I can't afford to.. but usually, if you dig deep enough, it boils down to "what'll people think of me if such and such happens?"
What I want to know is, who are these people 'out there'? Is there a whole mob of them? Is it one particular person? Who is it that we’re so afraid of offending? Are they peeking over the fence watching our every move? Stalking our accounts? Studying things in detail? Making it their problem? Thinking about what we're doing day and night? Don’t think so. So why do 'they' have so much power over us?
One thing we gotta understand is that every single one of us is trying to do the same damn thing- which is trying to get on with life.
If this something you've struggled with, then I hate to break it to you- we’re so caught up doing our own thing, watching our own back, that we’re really not that deeply invested in what you do / don’t do or decide to have a crack at. So go for gold! I’ll do my thing, so go ahead and do your thing.
Yeah, people judge. Most people judge. It’s what we do. We all have a view of the world and we all have an opinion. We’re entitled to it.
But when it comes to doing something you love or you're passionate about, don't let that be the thing that stops you.
The only time an opinion should matter to you, is when a) you've asked for advice and it's given in a supportive way and b) that person is willing to get in the ring and jump into action with you.
If someone decides they wanna be nasty though, it’s probably a reflection of something that they’re challenged with. This tends to happen when a person struggles with feeling significant. They have a choice to either build their own building, or tear down yours (which one do you think is easier?). But it’s not your responsibility to manage all that. It’s theirs.
And trust me, when people act in a nasty way, they end up hurting themselves more. If there are people in your life that treat you in such a way, perhaps you gotta ask "why are they in my life?" If they're not in your life, then who cares!
Worrying about what other people think also comes up a lot when you have to present something, put yourself out there, put your work out on display etc.. And I've got something on that too.
The way I see it, say you've gotta present to a group of 100 people. 60% of the audience like what you have to say, 20% absolutely love it, 10% are indifferent and are in their own world, and the other 10% aren't having a good time.. You're just not going to be able to please everyone- you can't. And the reason is, we come from all walks of life, we're inspired by different things, we have preferences, we have different interests, we're at different phases in our lives.. some will click, and some won't. So should that really stop you from doing your thing?
If this post has gently touched a nerve, here are some final words for you to marinate in:
“Move forward without fearing the possibility of being disliked”
It's one of the most liberating things you could wrap your head around.
Now over to you. Have you struggled with doing something you want to do because you think someone's watching and judging you? Did you go for it anyways? What strategies did you use to get yourself over the fence?